Learning to Receive Is Not An Easy Job
This weekend my family and I celebrated my 42nd birthday. It was a wonderful weekend filled with so much love and some beyond thoughtful #gifts. As I have had some time to reflect I realize there are a few life lessons that have come to fruition that I think are valuable for all of us to learn.
Over the years, I have received some amazing and thoughtful gifts. I have had friends and family who have picked out some of the best things that I would not have even thought of. Usually, it is one, two, or three people who achieve that. However, this year was different in that everyone picked out something that represented me. They have paid attention to what I love and what means so much to me. I was also overwhelmed by the abundance of love that went into the weekend. I have a phenomenal husband, bonus kids, and friends. It made me start thinking about how have I #manifested this life I have.
I have done a lot of personal development work. A long time ago, I started by asking the question, "Who Am I?" For a long time, I was defined as what everyone else wanted me to be. I was not even sure what I really liked or enjoyed. I had a lot of "shoulds" on myself and what I thought I #should like and enjoy it. The more I asked myself, "Who Am I?' the more I uncovered. It is a fascinating journey to give ourselves the space to experience new things. It is well known that I love self-care including candles, bath salts, shower bombs, massages, facials, motivational jewelry, inspirational quotes, and, of course, the colors purple and green. Now that I am at an age where I know who I am and what I like, those around me can choose gifts that they know I will love. I am proud of who I am and allow myself to enjoy all these gifts.
I have mastered the art of doing, doing, doing for everyone else. I would go above and beyond to buy birthday, Christmas, baby, or wedding gifts. I would search and search and search for the perfect item. I always wanted my gifts to be special. Sometimes I would get so excited because I knew I had a perfect gift, but then other times I was unsure. I still love doing this for others, but when it came to people giving me gifts it was UNCOMFORTABLE. I had no idea how to receive not only the gift, but also the love that went into it. I would say things like, "You did not have to get my anything." Or, "I really appreciate this, but you didn't have to spend your money on me." Now I know that this was an outward reflection of my own self-worth. I had work to do.
It took time, consistency, and patience for me to realize that I was just as worthy as anyone else to receive love and gifts. Can you guess what my last love language is? It is “gifts.” That is not because I do not enjoy receiving gifts, it is because I have been uncomfortable receiving them over the years. I now know that everyone knows they do not HAVE to do anything for me. They are CHOOSING to because they love and care about me.
The key to receiving not only physical presents for special occasions, but also compliments, acts of service, etc. is to allow the other person to give to you. It is a great feeling when we do things for others and help others. Why do we cheat others out of helping us? Remember, the next time someone wants to help you, buy you something, show you love that allowing them to do so is giving them a gift too. It is a two way street. Give and receive. The more you practice simply saying thank you and expressing gratitude I promise this will become easier. As it becomes easier you will also get the opportunity to feel the love at a deeper level. Others love you deeply, so why not love yourself deeply too?
It all starts within. Learn who you are and be proud of that. Practice receiving gifts just like you give and know that you too are WORTHY and DESERVING. Soak in the love that permeates through those all the gifts and watch your life change in amazing ways. YOU ARE A GIFT!!
You can do this! If you struggle with receiving and need guidance, message me. I would welcome the opportunity to support you through the #growth process.
Resources: www.lindseylang.net and The Power is Within You by Louise Hay